


As If By Magic

by Sashataakheru



Series: genie!James Off Menu fics [1]
Category: British Comedy RPF, Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster (podcast) RPF
Genre: Begging, Blow Jobs, Collars, D/s, Desperation, Hand-feeding, Kissing, Kneeling, M/M, Obedience, Ownership, Restraints, Slavery, genie au, magical au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 10:10:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18408500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashataakheru/pseuds/Sashataakheru
Summary: James is a genie. Genies have lamps. And who owns James' lamp? Ed does. James finds he doesn't mind this at all.





	As If By Magic

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the britcom anon meme 2k19 for the prompt 'Ed Gamble/James Acaster magical D/s-flavoured AU', inspired by that ridiculous(ly great) Off Menu fanart: https://twitter.com/jameswalkerguy/status/1106160523874308096

Waking up was always a strange experience. James hadn't been woken for a very long time, or so it seemed. But then, when he wasn't owned, he usually just slept. Or was in some weird kind of stasis. It was really hard to tell, because he couldn't get out of the lamp to check. That was the whole point of it. He was trapped in here, and only could get out if his owner summoned him.  
  
It was a warm sensation at first. The sensation of a hand rubbing the side of the lamp, sending all kinds of tingly sensations through him as he found himself waking up. It was never a process he controlled, but then again, he controlled very little about his existence. And before he knew it, he was being pulled out of his lamp and caught sight of his new owner at last.  
  
He seemed ... young. Smug, too. He also didn't recognise his surroundings. This all seemed. It must have been centuries. None of this looked right at all. At least, nothing like the last time he'd been allowed to see the world.  
  
"My wish is your command, sir," James said. He wondered idly what kind of master he would be.  
  
"Well, well, well, that old man wasn't lying when he said this was a magic lamp. Guess I got myself a genie now. How many wishes do I get?" the man said.  
  
"Three wishes, sir, that's it," James said.  
  
"And are you corporeal at all? Or are you just a ghost? Because, well, you're quite fit for a genie," the man said.  
  
"I-I don't understand," James said. That was not the question he was usually asked. "It's been a long time since I was last awoken. Everything looks very different."  
  
"I bet it does. But don't worry, I'll show you around. I'm Ed, by the way. And you're now my little genie. Come and kneel before me. I want to look into your eyes," Ed said.  
  
James obeyed. He was compelled to. Plus, perhaps he did understand what Ed was saying. Maybe - maybe he liked him. Outside of his compulsory feelings of liking his new owner. He seemed - different. He could become corporeal if he wanted to, that much was true, and he did so as he knelt before his master, bowing his head ever so slightly.  
  
Ed reached down and lifted his chin, forcing James to look at him. "Will you just do anything I tell you to do? Like, even outside of the wishes? Are you like my slave now?"  
  
"Yes, sir, you are my master now. I will obey you," James said.  
  
"What, like anything at all? I can just order you around and you'll do it?" Ed said.  
  
James nodded. This was all standard stuff as far as he was concerned, but something in Ed's voice made him shiver and perhaps for the first time in his existence, he _wanted_ to obey his master, and not just obey out of obligation. He wanted to make him happy.  
  
"Suck my cock then, genie," Ed said, with the kind of confidence that James found overwhelming and difficult to ignore.  
  
"Yes, sir," James said, and reached for his master's belt.  
  
He hadn't done this, at least, not in a very, very long time. He was sure he was out of practice. But Ed seemed patient with him and gently guided him, a hand tangling in his bright orange hair as he took him into his mouth.  
  
A deep sense of calm, and a deep sense of submission filled him. Ed commanded him. Ed held him firmly. There was no weakness there. James belonged to him now.  
  
The blowjob was, it was fair to say, messy and not very good, but Ed came hard anyway, and when he was done, he brought James into his arms, and cuddled him. James didn't know what to do about that. He'd never been ... held before. No one showed him affection. That just ... No. That wasn't done. He was a slave. That's all he was.  
  
"You do know your skin is so utterly impossibly blue, right? Why is it blue?" Ed said, a finger slowly caressing the skin on his neck.  
  
"I don't - I'm just a genie. I'm never told about these things. I just exist to give wishes," James said.  
  
And then, Ed kissed him, and James froze, unsure what to do. He'd never been kissed before. He flailed a bit, but Ed was holding him down, and James obeyed him. He submitted. After all, Ed was his master. He could do whatever he liked to him.  
  
"Are you allowed to fall in love with a genie, I wonder? Could I make that a wish? Or can't you do that kind of thing?" Ed said.  
  
"Oh, no, no, there are no restrictions, you just have to live with the consequences, whether they are what you wanted or not. And once you've had your three, that's it. You'll never get any more wishes, and I'll go back into my lamp, and wait for my next owner," James said.  
  
"So if I don't make any of my wishes, I can have you for as long as I like, yeah? Like, until I die in fifty years?" Ed said.  
  
"Yes, sir, that's right," James said.  
  
"Then I better not make any wishes," Ed said.  


* * *

  
James stood looking out of a window at the world outside. Everything seemed very different. The last date he had in his mind that he remembered was 1530-something or so. This was most definitely not that world.  
  
It had been a week now, perhaps two. James was still getting used to noticing the passage of time. James had lived with him like - well, like a human would. Ed didn't seem to want to keep him in his lamp like all his previous masters would do. He would be trapped in his lamp and only summoned when his master wanted to make a wish. But Ed didn't want that. Ed wanted him to be here with him. James could disguise himself as human if he wanted to, and he'd done that because his master had told him to, but he didn't really know why. He didn't really know how to _be_ human. Just look like one.  
  
Ed had taken him into town, taught him how to dress, showed him how to take care of himself as a human would, made him eat all kinds of things he'd never tried before. Like chocolate. James wasn't sure he was able to taste things the same way Ed tasted things, but chocolate was the most incredible thing he had ever eaten. It was so rich and creamy and sweet! It tasted like what he imagined Heaven might taste like, assuming Heaven had a taste, and that he might, one day, be allowed into Heaven to find out for himself.  
  
And of course, this discovery just led to Ed using chocolate to get James to do what he wanted him to do. James, it turned out, had a very bad weakness for the stuff, and would literally do anything for him, just to get another bite of chocolate. And that was before Ed introduced him to all the different things humans had worked out what to do with chocolate. James wanted to try every single chocolate pudding Ed could find. He'd eat them all for Ed if he asked.  
  
James didn't know he could ever just enjoy being with a master, but he loved being with Ed. Ed was - kind to him. He took care of him. He even polished his lamp! It looked so shiny and new now. No one had ever polished his lamp before. And every evening, they cuddled on the sofa together, watching television, whatever that was. James didn't really care what the pictures were and most of the time he didn't understand them anyway. He just enjoyed cuddling with Ed, with his master. Sometimes, there were little kisses, or he would tangle his fingers in James' hair, and James never wanted to leave him.  
  
James shivered as Ed's arms wrapped around his waist and he pressed a soft kiss to the back of his neck. James was still getting used to accepting affection, and he was sure he was feeling it in a very different way to how a human would feel it, but that didn't mean it didn't feel nice. Ed's touch sent shivers down his spine, made his body tingle in very pleasant ways, and James never wanted it to stop.  
  
"Maybe I'll make just one wish," Ed murmured.  
  
"Oh? What kind of wish?" James asked.  
  
"One where you have enough agency to love me back because you want to, not because I told you to," Ed said. "Can you do that?"  
  
"Sure, I can do anything. But maybe I won't love you when I have that agency to choose," James said.  
  
"We'll see about that, won't we?" Ed said with a certainty and a smugness that James did not understand. "Is there anything you like about being a genie?"  
  
James furrowed his brow, confused. No one had ever asked him that before. "What do I like about being a genie? What's there to like? I'm a slave with no mind of my own, how can anyone like that?"  
  
"You can speak your mind, surely that means you have some sort of agency. If I wanted a mindless slave, I'd just find a boy and train him that way. But you're not like that, or you wouldn't talk back to me like a brat," Ed said.  
  
James turned to face him, gazing into his eyes, searching for something. "What do you mean? I don't understand."  
  
"If you were truly a mindless slave, you wouldn't talk back. You wouldn't speak to me like this. You'd just obey me and have no mind of your own. No personality. But I can tell you have a personality. You're not just a thing. You're a being, a living being. Go on, tell me I'm wrong," Ed said.  
  
James went to argue, but found he couldn't. He was alive. It was a different kind of alive, but he was still alive. And being outside of his lamp for so long, he had begun to notice all the little ways in which he was still connected to the world, and to the spirits, and to everything that existed. He'd even heard the voice of his Goddess, and that shook him for a whole day before he accepted he wasn't about to be punished again.  
  
James had forgotten what it was like to be connected. He was never really alone, he'd just forgotten all those connections. To gods, spirits, beings, energy, all of it. He didn't realise just how thrilling it was to really feel the magic running through him, appreciating it in a way he'd never been able to before. He'd never really thought about where his powers came from, but they belonged to the world. That's how he could materialise anything his master asked for. He'd never understood that before. He wasn't separate from the world, he was part of it.  
  
"I'm ... alive? But what does that even mean? I'm not - like you. I'm just-"  
  
Ed silenced him with a kiss. James flinched but did kiss him back. He was getting better at kissing, and just enjoying being kissed. He'd made plenty of people fall in love, that was the number one wish everyone made. They always wanted someone they couldn't have. But he didn't imagine it would feel anything like this.  
  
"Obedience is in your nature, sure, it's what you're meant to be. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it with the right person, does it? That's a thing, you know. Wanting to obey, not just obeying because you have to. I wonder what it would take to get you to want to obey me. Other than chocolate, I mean," Ed said. "On your knees, genie."  
  
James obeyed immediately, kneeling before his master. Ed had taught him to kneel a specific way, with his head slightly bowed and his hands resting on his knees. He didn't know why it mattered. None of his other masters had ever cared how he kneeled, just that he did. But Ed seemed to care very much.  
  
"How does that feel? Does that feel good?" Ed said.  
  
James nodded. "It - it feels good, sir. Like it's where I belong."  
  
"Don't just tell me what I want to hear. Tell me the truth. Do you like kneeling before me? Do you like knowing I have power over you? That I can command you and make you obey and you will, without question?" Ed said.  
  
"You are my master, sir, I will obey your every command," James said. "I-I like this. But I can't tell if it's the magic or something I want. I've never been conscious of wanting something before. I didn't know I could want things. But I think I want this," James said.  
  
"Do you like being owned?" Ed said.  
  
That question sent a flood of weird sensations through James' body, because he'd never even _thought_ about being owned before, but obviously that's what his whole existence was for. For people to own him completely. And-and ... maybe he liked that too?  
  
"I-I maybe, yes. I think so?" James said. "I've never really - thought about it like that before. I-I don't - know."  
  
"Do you wear, like, anything that signifies that you're a prisoner? That you're owned?" Ed asked, and he was genuinely curious about that.  
  
James returned to his spirit form and lifted up his wrists. That's where the shackles were, joined by spirit-thread, enough to allow free movement, but to keep him bound up like a prisoner. There was also a collar around his neck, also joined by spirit thread. Only the Goddess who had bound him could release him from these shackles, unless Ed decided to free him.  
  
"God, you do look so very pretty in chains, James, did you know that?" Ed said. "I'm assuming you can't break free of them."  
  
James shook his head, returned to his human form, watched the shackles vanish, even though he could still keenly feel their presence. "Only my master can free me. I can't."  
  
"Chin up, genie. I want you to wear a collar for me," Ed said, pulling something out of his pocket.  
  
James looked up at him, couldn't speak, let Ed fasten the leather collar around his neck. He didn't realise that was a sensation he was missing until it was there. He touched it, loved the idea of his master collaring him the way his Goddess had collared him, wondered why this was making him feel - aroused (he was pretty sure that was the right word), felt a twinge of something in his stomach, accepted Ed's authority without question.  
  
"There you go, how does that feel?" Ed said, watching him closely.  
  
"I-I love it. I didn't know I - needed this. To wear _your_ collar, sir. I- oh. No, I really love this. It makes me feel - good? I think?" James said, trying to make sense of all the strange things he was feeling that he didn't really understand.  
  
Ed reached down and tangled a hand in his hair and grasped it. "Good. Good. I think you'll make a lovely little submissive. Now, I have to go out, so go and wait for me in your little bed, and I'll be back as soon as I can."  
  
James felt his heart fall out of his chest, not wanting to be apart from him. Ed usually just took him with him, if he made himself invisible, but this time, this time was different. James might have panicked a little, but the compulsion to obey was too strong.  
  
"You're - I don't get to come with you now? But I'm always with you, master. Please, master, don't leave me all alone," James said, crawling over to his little bed in the corner of the room.  
  
"I don't need your distractions today, this is an important meeting. But I promise I won't be long. If you're good, maybe I'll bring you some of that chocolate that you love so much," Ed said.  
  
James looked up from his little bed, desperate for more chocolate. He might have made a pathetic little sound, but there was no fight in him. There couldn't be. He was bound to obey. He prayed Ed would change his mind, but he didn't. What he did get was a soft little kiss, and Ed gently tugged his hair again, promising he wouldn't be long, that he still loved him, and James just reached for him as he left, bereft, wishing he were back in his lamp. Which, he noticed, Ed took with him, as if he didn't trust James to be alone with it.  
  
"Please, master, please take me with you," James tried one more time.  
  
"Not today. Be a good boy for your master and I'll bring you back something nice. You do want something nice, don't you?" Ed said.  
  
"Oh, yes, please, more chocolate please, I need it," James said.  
  
"Then you'd better just stay there for me. I'll be back soon," Ed said.  
  
James flopped back down onto his little bed as Ed left, unable to move, unable to do anything else except stay right here until his master came back. The next two hours were the longest span of time he was ever conscious of being forced to endure. He hated every single second of it. Every last one. He scowled. He'd never had to _wait_ for anything before in his entire existence. This, he was sure, was living Hell. And he'd been to Hell. This was a lot worse.  


* * *

  
"Why are you called James, by the way?"  
  
James scowled, for a number of reasons, including Ed taking so long to actually ask if he had a name. He did not need this distraction. He had been kneeling for what felt like hours, with Ed tempting him with chocolate that he was keeping just out of his reach, and his stupid obedience magic would not make him fight for it. He'd waited for _so long_ for Ed to return, wih nothing but a boring fly spirit for company, and now all he wanted was the chocolate for being such a good boy, but Ed was having none of it.  
  
"That's what my last owner called me. I've had a lot of different names," James said.  
  
"Hmm, I like it. I think it suits you. I'm still going to call you genie though, because that's what you are," Ed said.  
  
James didn't like that. He was attached to his name. His last owner wasn't _terrible_ in the grand scheme of things. She'd been ... well. A bit of a nympho, if James was being honest, but thankfully, not with him. She just wanted an endless string of people to have sex with. She'd called him James because apparently he reminded her of her brother, and kept him in a small cage in the corner of her bedroom. James wasn't confined to his lamp, but he was confined to the cage. When she'd got bored of him, she sent him back to his lamp, and he had no idea what had happened to him after that.  
  
But he didn't belong to her now. He belonged to Ed, and Ed was being a real fucking tease with that chocolate.  
  
" _Please_ , can I have the chocolate. _Please_ , master. I waited for _hours_ for you to return! Hours! I've never had to wait for _anything_ before, and it was terrible! But I was a very good boy and I stayed in my bed and I didn't even try to play around with my magic while you were out. Please, please, master, please may I have the chocolate," James begged.  
  
Ed just sat back like the fucking tease that he was, and if James had any capacity to protest, he would have done when he watched Ed begin to _eat his chocolate_.  
  
Ed might have laughed at his horrified expression, but he hadn't planned to eat the entire thing anyway. That was more trouble than he was willing to bother with, not when he had a genie to eat it for him.  
  
"Alright, you can have the chocolate, but I'm going to feed it to you because I know you're a greedy boy when it comes to chocolate. One piece at a time, and you'll clean my hands like a good boy with your tongue or you won't get another piece. Come, kneel by my side and keep your hands behind your back," Ed said.  
  
James, possibly over-eagerly, obeyed, his body a quivering mess of neediness and desire he couldn't control. He'd never been this desparate to please a master before, but Ed made him this needy, and he gazed up at him, opening his mouth, keeping his hands firmly behind his back with a little magic, just to make sure he would be extra-obedient. Also, he might have whined like a fucking dog.  
  
Ed held up the first piece, but before he gave it to him, he asked him a question. "Who owns you?"  
  
"You do, master," James replied.  
  
Ed reached down and took hold of the collar. "Who owns you?"  
  
James swallowed. "You do, master!"  
  
"Try again. Add some words this time," Ed said, unhappy with his responses. "Who owns you?"  
  
James looked at him, confused, not sure what else he needed to say. "You own me, master. This genie is owned by you, sir. I am yours. I obey you completely," James said, hoping that might be enough.  
  
"Who's collar do you wear?" Ed said.  
  
"Yours, sir. I wear the collar of my master. It belongs to you, just as I do. I am yours and yours alone," James said, beginning to understand what Ed was asking for.  
  
"Who owns your lamp, genie?" Ed said.  
  
"You do, sir. As my master, you own my lamp. It is yours now. It is never mine," James said.  
  
Ed sat back, seemingly satisfied. "Good boy. I'm glad you know your place. Alright, here, have some chocolate. You'll get as much as I think you deserve, and no more, and no fucking around with your magic alright? That will result in a whole week without chocolate."  
  
James got the impression Ed was definitely not making an idle threat. He wasn't sure he could go a whole week without chocolate. Well, he would, because he was bound to obey him, but that was now a totally different proposition now that he had found _something he actually desired_ and wasn't just doing it because the magic told him to. This wanting things malarky that Ed had awoken in him was seriously driving him crazy, and it was making him just so eager to please his master so he would be rewarded with the things he wanted.  
  
He sat up as straight as he could as Ed offered him a piece of chocolate on his hand. James ate it with his mouth, savouring just how sweet it was. It wasn't his 100% favourite chocolate, but it was still pretty good. He licked Ed's hand clean once he'd finished eating the chocolate, making sure it was spotless, before he gazed longingly up at him again, hoping for another bite.  
  
Another piece was offered, and James ate it eagerly. He'd discovered he really quite enjoyed this kind of thing. To be kneeling and fed by hand by Ed. He didn't quite know why, but he wasn't about to stop it now. He cleaned his master's hand and again waited for another piece.  
  
"Please? Please? May I have another piece, sir?" James said.  
  
Ed reached down to grasp his hair and James froze, feeling the dominance and command in that gesture very keenly. "Only if you kneel there naked. Then maybe I'll fuck you."  
  
James had never been naked faster. He might also have whined - _whined_ \- with desire. That was a new sensation he was still getting used to, but fuck did it feel good.


End file.
